Gardening can be painful. Squatting, bending low, getting your hands dirty, battling with weeds and worms is not always pleasant. But I enjoy the feeling that washes over me when I am done, when I know that the combinations of fauna and flora are a result of my meddling.
Camel was an interesting acquisition. He was really bad. He had a few dirty secrets. What made him worse was the fact that the world thinks he is good! But, he comfortably showed sides of himself to me that most people had not seen. Sides people would shun for. Judge him for. At times we were like peas in a pod. At times diametrically opposed. We mirrored each others minds. It was interesting. It was just the right amount of sunshine and rain; rich soil that let us flourish. The roots went in deeper and brighter, greener shoots sprung up.
Something was not right. It was not right for us to share us much as we did. We were baring our souls to each other. The raw honesty of the relationship was manipulative. He shared with me initimate, unpleasant, painful, joyous moments. I do not believe in the absolutes of good and bad, right and wrong. But I cannot live with myself if I compromise someone's trust. The emotional bond we shared was a violation of a bond he had with someone else. Camel has never touched me physically. But the intensity of the connection we made, I think made the relationship deterimental to other parts of his world. He was never my lover, and I never his.
The garden needed weeding. Despite the overt harmlessness and honesty, the weed had to go. It belonged elsewhere. I had to dig it up and throw it out on the rubbish heap. It was not painful. Simply enviograting. I am happy I did my gardening in time.
