No time to stand and stare

The capitalists find uncanny ways of making money by just keeping you at your desk. And the poor worker stays there, finding ways to stay at the desk, doing nothing and keep making money. Neatly sidestepping the next obvious Marxian parley of alienation and leisure, let me jump straight into the F1 track aka my life.
I am almost always caught in a dilemma of wanting to 'stop and stare' and that addictive need for speed, which compels me to pack every single moment of my life, schedule it, and calendarize as much as I can. When I could 'stop and stare', I found myself feeling guilty. But now, as I screech around the track, jet plane like, I realize that everything is a blur (well, do you expect Schumacher to be able to appreciate the beauty of the track as he races?). Some time ago, I noticed a tree with pretty purple flowers, different from the jacaranda we see around. It was at a dead end. That is all I remember. Just the flowers. It makes me wonder, at times, was it just a dream? I had a conversation yesterday with my grandmother. I do not remember a word of it today, or even the fact that it took place, despite having the whole dialogue repeated to me. I can feel the sensory overload. But I cannot thrive without it.
Living at the edge of chaos.

Alonso's Victory Lap - Sepang, 2005 - From personal collection.